Well tonight included a trip to Brooklyn for a dinner with K E L S E Y! And what started out as a simple connection of the N.R.Q.W to the Brooklyn bound 4.5 trains took an unexpected twist.
Imagine a hungry girl perched uncomfortably between two other travelers on the local southbound train. Then imagine that this hungry girl reaches the Bowling Green stop. If you know much about the Manhattan subway lines, which this girl absolutely doesn't, then you would know that this is the last stop before the train crosses over the river. It might as well be the Bowling Green found in Kentucky. And at this time the announcer comes over the loud speaker saying that this train will not be crossing the river. Do not pass GO. Do not collect 200 dollars. How the hell am I going to get to Brooklyn now?
Her stomach growled. She switched trains and back tracked up to Canal Street where she got back on the N.Q.R.W and re-routed to Atlantic Avenue (first stop in Brooklyn). Here she went to transfer to the 2.3. There goes 20 minutes atleast. Now we're reeeally hungry.
When you arrive in Brooklyn, trains are no longer "Brooklyn Bound" and things can get confusing. To ensure that this very hungry girl made the correct connection, she approached a man in a Metro Transportation vest and said, "I need to take the 2.3 to Franklin Ave". His response, "What do you need, my f*cking permission?" Her reply, "NO I just need to know which f*cking train to get on". He answered with, "Top of the stairs. Take a right". Cool dude.
We now know that MTA workers are quite unfriendly and it is probably better to ask randos for directions rather than the people that are actually employed to be helpful. Good to know.
So the girl arrives at Franklin Ave and leaps off the train with bounds of joy because her hour and half (should have been 45 minutes) trip to Brooklyn is almost to a close. About an 8 block walk down Franklin Ave to Bergen St. Home free. Roll Tide.
So as she exits the subway station, she isn't quite sure on which quadrant of the corner she will find herself. She sees the MTA man in the booth before heading up the stairs, but thinks to herself, "I am sure as heck not going to ask them for help again". So up the stairs she goes.
A man is hanging over the railing handing out cards. Honest enough. "Which way to Bergen?" she asks,taking a card, hoping that her walking trip will be significantly shorter than her train ride. He points her in the direction which she will walk and gives a huge grin. She thinks to herself, "What a nice guy. Nice people really do exist in New York".
This starving girl doesn't look at the card until she is half way down the block. It was a good thing too, because it was a card for MrLingerieSexyNights.com. True Story!
The perfect finale for the most outrageous commute ever experienced. Not only does MrLingerieSexyNights.com have the hottest lingerie and adult toys, but they also offer a catering service. What the hell? Their cell number is 347-231-8337 in case anyone would like to contact them and take them up on their offer.
Welcome to New York.
